“I don’t have a choice, it’s a medical condition”..
Depression... Anxiety... .
How many people do you know personally that suffer with one or even both of these mood disorders..
I do... and it’s me.
I can’t pinpoint the exact moment it all started but what I do know is that my history with anorexia and bulimia played/plays a MASSIVE role.
The fear of loosing control...
I can quite confidently say that motherhood has also been a massive contributor to it, giving birth to this little human who acts against any plan I’ve ever made...
Planning through motherhood... HA! I laugh at myself now..🤣
I know I’m not alone, I come across new people, mamas, weekly who suffer with some form of anxiety or depression..
Is it normal? .
My personal opinion?
Yes and no. .
Barring the fact that some ladies/men actually have a chemical imbalance and rely largely on medication to ‘human’ I think as a society we have created an environment where we are infact predisposed to feeling this way...we doubt ourselves more...the way we look, the way we act, the way we feel...
On the whole, I think we have become extremely insecure human beings, 24/7 self reassurance and inner strength is scarce, how can we when we don’t even trust ourselves? .
Can we fight back? .
I’m going to be brave and say YES!
I know I’m going to offend a few people who are on medication for these disorders..
You’re immediately going to put up a defense and say “I don’t have a choice, it’s a medical condition”..
I hear you, I do. I was you. .
Without going down too much of a rabbit hole, before Instagram tells me I’m yapping too much, when I met my husband Rob I too was on medication, jailed by this idea that I was chronically ill and had to take antidepressants to survive. .
Guess what... I was kind of wrong
The long of the short, Rob gave me a HUGE wake up call, in a not so polite way, he told me to “wake the fuck up” and take back control of my mind and body. Bare in mind I was extremely anorexic at the time, desperately trying to hold onto the control I thought I had at 42kg (I am naturally 60+).
I’m the thinnest I’ve ever been, I thought, how can I not be in control? Im totally dominating my goals (yes this was my unhealthy fucked up thought process at the time)
I wasn’t in control, I had spun so far out of it that I couldn’t even notice the symptoms of an impending death. (Anorexic patients on average knock off 22 years of life)
Going down a rabbit hole again (this story is extremely complex) but it took me almost three years to truly understand that I was not in control and that ‘quality of life’ (everyone’s version is different) was far superior to suffering and pretending to be in control. .
So guys... I took back my life, the life my husband told me I deserved , gained 20 odd kilos, ate lots of food, had fun, fell pregnant with Bean, went straight back to depression and anxiety 🤣
Not what you expected from this post right? .
Well guys , the true message I want to share with you today is firstly depression and anxiety are REAL and it’s something I literally have to combat EVERY SINGLE DAY. .
Just like being ‘mom’ is a choice, so is being ‘Cath’, happy Cath anyway...
BUT YOU HAVE A CHOICE. .
Maybe that is in the form of medication but from my experience there are other options, exercise for me is a HUGE one. (Ok don’t go cold turkey on your meds now because I said so , I AM NOT A DOCTOR and actually have no qualifications to give that kind of advice but I am here to provide HOPE).
I try so damn hard to stop my negativity in its tracks, replace bad thoughts and actions with good before they manifest, which it does when they’re not dealt with! #
Gosh I keep getting ahead of myself, clearly I’m passionate about this topic
But guys, again, you are not alone, I am not perfect, anxiety and depression are real and I personally believe that it can be combated through community (people who genuinely care - people like me) and some seriously good medical advice, with or without medication
Have a fantastic Sunday peeps, I hope that was more uplifting than depressing
Following the Bean is a two-part team consisting of 1 x superhero Mom and 1 x model-extraordinaire Bean. Mom (aka Catherine Basson), a professional photographer by day and Bean-blogger by night has 3 years of fashion-knowledge sneakily tucked under her belt while Bean (aka Rebecca Aaliyah Alexander Basson) is a part time baby and full time model.