"Getting A Divorce Girl" by Cath Diary Entry #3

"Getting A Divorce Girl" by Cath Diary Entry #3
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WHY, I DO WHAT I DO…

OK, so two things (Some not so exciting deets)…

 

1.    My sincere apologies to those who have been battling to sign up or retrieve Diary entry #1 and #2.. I am listing the links below especially for you!

- Diary Entry #1

- Diary Entry #2

I’m still not entirely sure what the heck is going on with the mailer. *Cringe

2.    Diary entry #3 has taken FOREVER and a day to go out because I’ve literally written over 20 million versions! I think with every new subscriber that signups, I shit myself a little more realizing that people are actually opting in to listen to my nonsense. xD The response to this series has been rather overwhelming so I needed to step back before I continued head first into diary entry number #3 and whatever else that follows… which pretty much sums up the purpose of diary entry #3.. “Why I do what I do… (I’ll unpack this shortly.)

 

I also want to take this opportunity to remind everyone that this is not a pro divorce column nor is it a pro let’s ‘slam our exes’ parade. I will on occasion drop my advice however, I’m by no means a relationship or divorce expert.

 

#GettingADivorceGirl is all about self-exploration and starting up new conversations, I want you to get involved, comment on each thread. Be brave and share your thoughts below in the comment section even if it's an opposing or alternate opinion. 

 

Like The Fisherman, my newest vocal and audacious follower :)  

 

KAY, boring stuff OVER…

 

So who is The Fisherman and why is this person rearing their head into this diary entry. 

 

Ok well firstly I’m calling this human ‘the fisherman’ to protect their identity and privacy. 

Don’t do a literary student thing on me and start analyzing the name 'fisherman’. It has nothing to do with he/she ‘fishing’ for details or anything other than the fact that they legitimately enjoy fishing xD

 

So my fisherman friend decided to give me some honest feedback on my latest #GettingADivorceGirl Blogpost with the opening punch line…

 

“Cath, there’s lots of frustrated Bullsh*t here, some good points too but lots of frustrated Bullsh*t…”

 

Frustrated bullsh*t…. Flip dude, I've just poured my heart and soul into these posts... Umm.. Hello?

I immediately burst into tears. 

 

JOKES! xD

 

I actually burst out laughing, their raw honesty made me smile. (I have great admiration for people who have strong, VALID, opinions.)

 

The fisherman was right, I am frustrated. 

 

“A lot has happened this year, which I’m trying to process and put into boxes…” I responded…

 

“Wrong boxes Cath, not everyone needs to know the raw details about what you’re going through, save it for your close friends and family members or a psychologist”.

 

Again, I laughed. The fisherman made valid points, points I’m sure many of you have wondered yourself. Which led me to asking the question… 

 

What are my true intentions behind #GettingADivorceGirl?

 

One things for sure - I’m not bitter. I’m not one of those post-divorce’ girls that ‘man-hate’ or no longer believe in love, soul mates and whatever else you want to chuck onto that list. 

 

I’m still a diehard romantic just a slightly more realistic one. (Prince charming exists but he’s not riding a white horse and he’s not coming to save you, you gotta save yourself guuurl)

 

So – purpose of #GettingADivorceGirl

 

Something everyone needs to know about me... I’m 26 years old with a sh*t load on my plate at the moment. 

 

 “Faaaaaark, you’re only 26?”

 

Yup, I heard that xD (normal response)

 

26-years-old, mother to one, entrepreneur,  strong and stubborn AF, not afraid of raw truth, brutal honesty or getting involved in uncomfortable conversations. 

 

Some may say that my love for ‘transparency’ and/or ‘airing my dirty laundry’ publicly is a trait of someone who lacks personal boundaries, which to a degree may be true… If you read diary entry number #2 setting boundaries is something I’ve battled with, but for me truth is like surgery. It hurts but it cures.

Speaking truth is like shining lightness into the darkness - something I feel God is pushing me to do with my life.

 

So yeah, I'm NOT going to be everyones cup of tea and sh*ts going to get uncomfortable from time to time over here on GADG but I have nothing to hide and I'm not holding back.

 

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think I’d ever want to be in a position where my life was ‘over exposed’ like the Kardashians or Big Brother but I do feel like my current journey is something that needs to be documented and shared from the perspective of someone who doesn’t sugar coat things and is wise enough to be objective. 

- Divorce can be F*cking expensive

- Getting Cheated on sucks nuts

- There IS a difference between an asshole and a narcissist 

- ANC no accrual translates to ‘Ain't Nobody Coming to save yoh Ass-sets’ xD 

and so on…. (I have lots to share and laugh about)

 

So fisherman… Am I still full of frustrated bullshit? 

 

Probably - and that’s totes OK. 
(PS : Guys I like the fisherman, they're not 'anti-Cath', we just don't necessarily agree on everything - which is GREAT! Fishermen are friends not fools #DontSlaughterTheFisherman xD )

 

This blog, my whole life is a journey of triumphs and losses. I’m not trying to advertise the ‘perfect divorce’ or the ‘perfect response’ to a divorce, that sh*t doesn’t exist and I'm most definitely NOT a perfect human being. 

 

This blog is an unusual combination of unpacking what has happened / what is happening to me in real time, whilst encouraging conversation around it to help find solutions and healing power for others. Even if you’re not getting a freaking divorce, doesn’t mean your opinion doesn’t matter. If you think you can help someone – why not? Comment. Email me. 

 

Probably also a good time to mention that this blog will not always be called #GettingADivorceGirl. We’ll move onto #GetOverItGirl, #YouveGotThisGirl or possibly even #InLoveAgainGirl or #GettingRemarriedGirl MAYBE EVEN #FarkImPregnantAgain xD. By opting in to #GettingADivorceGirl you’ve signed up for a journey, a community, a raw and honest one.

 

OK gone down one hell of a rabbit hole again..

 

Back to my favourite fisherman and some interesting questions this human put forward… (again, fisherman is not the enemy, fisherman actually helps me a lot with editing my blog posts xD)

 

"Cath, Why would you want to let so many people in on something so personal?"

 

I don’t have a straight answer for you. I just have this burning desire to be open and honest. I really don’t mind being criticized as long as I can help support others going through the same thing.

 

"Cath, Won’t this ‘transparency’ effect your other businesses?" 

 

I hope not. All three of my businesses are built off the back of the same values - truth and honesty.

Following The Bean – An honest look into motherhood

Beans.Boutique – Honest pricing and quality of kids clothing and merchandise. 

Curated By Cath – Even though the content is curated I try dig into a business’s/companies real, true and honest narrative for their customers to read and see…

I’m all about being a raw and real human being.

 

OK this is not so much a divorce Diary entry then it is a “Understanding Cath” entry so i'll be sending Diary entry number #4 on Sunday with more divorce details.

 

And just like the fisherman, I want you guys to ask questions, comment below or whatever it is you need to do to be heard. I love it.

 

“It unwise to be too sure of one’s own wisdom. It is healthy to be reminded that the strongest might weaken and the wisest might err” – Mahatma Gandhi

 

A quote I always have in mind when I blog.. Something I want you all to hold in mind too when you read.

 

 

AGAIN, DON'T FORGET TO COMMENT BELOW. 

Anyways that’s it from me for now…

 

All my love

Cath

 

 

Following the Bean is a two-part team consisting of 1 x superhero Mom and 1 x model-extraordinaire Bean. Mom (aka Catherine Basson), a professional photographer by day and Bean-blogger by night has 3 years of fashion-knowledge sneakily tucked under her belt while Bean (aka Rebecca Aaliyah Alexander Basson) is a part time baby and full time model.