Mom/wife guilt and exercise - How I conquer them both!

Mom/wife guilt and exercise - How I conquer them both!

"How could you be so selfish!"

I’m actually typing this out now while on the stepper.. (at  the gym)


My favorite form of cardio because I can do it hands free and WERK! (A lot of admin and brainstorming is done on my phone)


Rewind 20 min...


I was at home (it’s Sunday) it’s early, everyone’s asleep! Perfect time to get in a quick 45min training session! I’ll be in and out the gym and back home again before anyone has the chance to even know I was gone! 

Sold! Let’s do this!


Opening up front door... “Babe... where you going?” Rob mumbles somewhere close by...


Fuck. Go back to sleep man! You sleep in later than this most days!!! (I thought to myself)


Me - “Bubs.. I’m going to gym”. 


Rob - “No you can’t... I’m going riding!”


Me - “Yes my angel, only at 9 it’s 6”


Rob grunts... I can sense he’s annoyed. 


Previously I would’ve reversed my tracks, closed the door and cancelled my training. 

The worst part is, I would've probably waited around for Rob to leave at a LATE 8:30/9 (Rob has his masters in procrastination) resenting every second that I could've been at the gym working out. 

So, what did I do? I muscled through the awkwardness of leaving an unhappy Rob at home, closed the door (behind me this time) and went off to train.


(Side note - Bean is sleeping through this entire process, she usually only wakes up at 8 on weekends so I'd be back before then.)


"How could you be so selfish!"

Let me not tell you 'how' but rather WHY...


I know, from many years of practicing this, even when I lived with my parents, that the short 45min I spend at the gym will provide everyone, Rob and Bean most importantly, with a happy wife/mom for the rest of the day! As I’ve stated above - without gym or any form of ‘me time’ you’ve got a grumpy Cath on your hands which is fun for nobody!

 In my mind 45min is an extremely small compromise for an all-day nice-to-be-around-Cath. 


Maybe I’m strange and this concept sounds silly to you but the way I look and feel plays a huge role in my mood so that’s why I choose to gym (the endorphin rush is incredible and long term  I have a body I can be proud of) but your ‘me time’  could be something totally different! I know a lot of women who would love to dig into the pages of their favorite book ALONE for 45min. 


Does taking 45 to an hour out of the day to full your cup make you or me a bad person? 


I’m going to say NO - especially if you genuinely put your heart and soul into the rest of the time you do spend with your family. 


I always say to woman who open up to me about ‘mom guilt’ and exercise that “you can’t pour from a cup that’s empty... period!”.. albeit cliche but most the important life lessons are! 


So I’m waking up early to tell you that it’s ok to do something selfish, even if it's only once a week, especially if it makes you a nicer person to be around! 


Let’s face it, motherhood takes up 99.9% of your life with very little room to do anything else, more so when they’re little but yeah, the responsibility never goes away (I’m 25 and my mother still lays awake at night stressing about me  (love you mom) so sometimes you have to force yourself and the others around you to give you a little time/space in the day to BE YOU! 


So do something FOR YOU! It may just restore a part of your human-ness that allows you to cope in more difficult times.. Late nights, sick babies, family stresses, fussy eaters, potty training Ect ect. 


I find when I’m highly strung, things that I'm usually able to cope with freak the fu-kuk-key out of me. So giving myself a little 45 min love and care each and everyday makes me feel like ‘I’ve had my selfishness for the day’ therefore I can muster up the patience to deal with any difficult situations up ahead. 


I’m sure there are situations far more complex than my own which may not be as simple to solve - but give it a go? If you can? Even if it only makes you feel better for a brief minute, it’s a minute of self love you didn’t have before.

It’s taken me awhile to learn where and when it’s appropriate for me to take my ‘me time’, but it’s something both Rob and I have come to understand that WE need in order to remain sane!! (He has allocated ‘Rob-time’ too)


Ok I’ve rambled enough, I hope that was somewhat inspirational! Let me know your thoughts in the comments bellow..


Have an awesome Sunday peeps!


Ps : Don’t just be good to others... be good to yourself too!


All my love 

Mama Cath

Following the Bean is a two-part team consisting of 1 x superhero Mom and 1 x model-extraordinaire Bean. Mom (aka Catherine Basson), a professional photographer by day and Bean-blogger by night has 3 years of fashion-knowledge sneakily tucked under her belt while Bean (aka Rebecca Aaliyah Alexander Basson) is a part time baby and full time model.